Lexington and Nancy Hinkel

By Joanna Harper

Last weekend I ran the club National XC championships in Lexington, Kentucky. I didn’t run very well, but I don’t want to talk about my race. Instead I’d like to tell you the story that I tell myself whenever I have a bad race. I hope you are moved by it.

Joanna Harper

She continued racing well throughout the year and in September she was the first master’s runner and first survivor at Portland’s race for the cure. Since Nancy was a beautiful woman who was vivacious and charming, the race made a big deal of her and they used her as their unofficial poster girl. However, trouble was looming for Nancy.

I happen to work in Radiation Oncology which is the treatment of cancer patients with radiation. In October 1996, I was in a meeting with our doctors. One of the docs said he’d need to leave the meeting in the middle since he had to see a patient with brain mets (or metastatic disease).

This occurs when cancer spreads beyond the original site to other parts of the body. The brain is one of the most common sites for disease spread and brain mets are a very bad prognostic sign.

A few minutes later one of the nurses stuck her head in the door, looked at the physician in question and said “Ms Hinkel is ready to see you”. I turned to him and asked “first name?” He paused. I suggested “Nancy?” He replied “that’s it” My stomach turned to knots.

I live in two worlds. At work we deal with sick and dying people all the time. While I have a rewarding career, it is necessary to develop a thick skin about death and dying. I spend most of my free time in the company of runners who are always healthy and incredibly fit. It was the first time someone had moved from one of my worlds into the other. It hit me harder than you can imagine.

Nancy’s cancer was very aggressive and we treated her several times over the next year. Unfortunately, we were unable to slow the disease spread much. The last time I saw her was in October 1997. She had just finished yet another course of radiation.

I had talked with her for while and given her a hug. As she turned to leave, she stopped at the water fountain for a drink. When she bent over the fountain, she almost fell to the ground. I rushed over to catch her but she righted herself. She gave me a little smile and left through the door. She died 10 days later at age 42.

So after I got back to my hotel room in Lexington after my race, my thoughts turned to Nancy. I cried some for her and some for me. Why was it that I was so selfish that I couldn’t see how wonderful it was that I was not only still alive but healthy and fit enough to toe the line with some of the country’s finest runners? Did I have no sense of perspective?

I dried my eyes, got dressed and then I went out and had a wonderful evening with many of my fellow runners. I hope that Nancy would approve.

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